Reckoning

I took calls from or called five people yesterday. I talked to three singers, an artist and a close friend who called to tell me she'd had enough and was on her way to Texas. She called me from the road.

Five minutes before I spoke to her, I was talking to a Christian rock n' roller and sometime preacher. We were discussing how God speaks to people. I am fascinated by religious conversations, particularly with people outside of the pulpit. We were discussing signs.

I was having a little fun with him, asking about why it is I keep finding pennies and nickels all over the place --I really do: at gas stations, in parking lots, in the parking garage, on the floor of grocery stores. Maybe I'm just observant or maybe I just spend too much time looking at my feet, thinking.

It could also be people are really clumsy. Whatever. I've noticed the change lying around and thought this would be a great opportunity to talk about the spare change.

One thing he said is that the bible tells you not to look for signs. Basically, God will let you know when he wants you to know. Pay attention to the message that's there. Don't go looking for the secret code. There may not be one.

"So, maybe God is telling me to save up for a candy bar," I suggested and he laughed. "Maybe he wants me to be wealthy, but doesn't figure I can handle large bills."

We had a good time with it. He told me to just think on it. The message would reveal itself. I did not reveal I'm not a Christian and follow Buddhist philosophy (well, mostly). I didn't want to poison the conversation and it might have. It was friendly. I liked that.

When my friend called me, she told me she was in Tennessee, en route, in her truck with her dog, and I didn't know what to say. She asked me what I was doing today and I told her I was telling someone very important to me good-bye.

Her reasons are good ones. Charleston isn't home. Texas is. Her family and friends are there. Her culture is there. There's a lot of baggage in both places, but she thinks she can bear it there better than here.

She'd always told me she was going back. I just didn't think it would be so soon.

We hung up awkwardly. I told her not to get any of those pecan logs they sell at Truck stops. When you've got nothing but heartache, go for a laugh. I needed a laugh and figured if I could get one out of her, it would be OK. She did and it will be OK --just not immediately.

It was hard putting the phone down, but I couldn't help thinking about what the Christian rock guy was saying.

The thing is, I've been finding lots of change, change all over the place.