Monday, May 10, 2010


Because I'm a big shot journalist, people and their pet robots write to me. I look forward to it, even if I don't always like what I get. The world has a lot of tough love for me. I take what I can get.

Dear Mr. Lynch,

Today I came upon your raving review of Ringling Brothers Circus performing in Hartford Connecticut. I was disappointed to see that you endorsed their show. Perhaps you are unaware as many are of the methods that Ringling Brothers uses to train their animals. The elephants and tigers are beaten daily and electrocuted until they perform tricks that are humiliating and degrading to them. They are confined in small spaces for up to sixty hours, spaces that would be the equal to us being confined to a telephone booth. Even if they weren't tortured and abused, a circus is no place for wild animals. I am not affiliated with any extreme animal rights organization such as PETA, I am simply a concerned citizen that has taken interest in the way these animals are treated.

Thank you for your time, and I hope in the future a journalist of your stature and education will take the time to be informed.

(Name withheld because I believe it's a bullshit-made-up-name)

Obviously, a journalist of "my stature and education" would know better because you know, guys who cover the circus are pretty God damned important.

Anyway, an hour or so later, just in case I was interested, a second e-mail from a different e-mail account complained again, but included some helpful links.

Have you actually taken 5 minutes to watch the graphic and extemely disturbing videos on or ????? This circus should be forced to release the animals that are subjected to daily beatings by these monsters at Ringling Brothers. How can you support something like this? I will never support a circus that uses animals.

Only one of the links actually works, which is kind of a half-assed way to protest my going to the circus. Frankly, I think I deserve better service from my haters.


dirrty larry said...

Mr. Lynch? Damn, now you're a grown-up. No more circuses and comic book stores for you Mr. Lynch.

primalscreamx said...

A journalist of my education and stature should command some respect. I should probably be addressed as "your worshipfulness."