Lesson #4: Don't ask for autographs, CDs or anything with someone's name on it.
Famous people can be famous by the stupid virtue of being famous. They don't even have to be any good at what they're famous for. Paris Hilton, for instance, is famous because of a sex tape, not because she was particularly amazing in it. I haven't seen the tape, but friends of mine have described it as "old people sex," which makes you wonder why she bothered to bring a camera. Where was the rawness, the heat, the excitement? Where was the monkey?
Anyway, in meeting semi-celebrated peoples, I take another line from my occasional mentor Andy Ridenour who said, "Don't ask for an autograph when you're there for the interview. You just look like a douchebag."
He's right. I've watched other writers, reporters and newsy types show up to ask questions and made a comfortable conversation suddenly awkward by asking for something that wasn't on the menu.
If you need a CD or tickets, get them from the publicist or agent. They get paid to handle the business details and the finer points. They get paid a lot. It's ok to make them earn it.
You want the person you're talking with to have their guard reasonably down. Sometimes there is nothing you can do to help them get their guard down and feel comfortable. Few musicians enjoy sitting down with strangers to go on the record about anything. Potentially having his or her life put out in front of them for judgement or dissection is not pleasant.
Sometimes there is no way to make the other person feel comfortable. I've seen people literally twist themselves into knots in front of me because their nerves were so frayed. You can establish some kind of rapport most of the time by sharing a little bit of who you are. I take my time setting up for the interview and just chat, ask about their kids or if they've read anything cool lately. With Greg Brown, we talked about gardening. I even got some gardening tips. Odetta and I talked politics. Buckwheat Zydeco told me about how he hated driving, but why he had to fire his bus driver.
You let them know early that you're not really there to go for some kind of kill. You're not hunting them. It's not a quiz show. It's not oral boards or a performance for an audience of one. It's a conversation. Don't ask them for an autograph, but if they want yours, I guess that would be okay.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Random Music Writing #3
Lesson #3: Nobody has as much money as you think they do.
The biggest joke to date in the music industry is about the level of wealth the big league guys are supposed to have. I've met a bunch of musicians and a bunch of millionaires. They are usually not the same people.
On the lower end, the guys on their way up are still spending like there is no tomorrow, but most of them aren't getting that island oasis. Most of them are thinking of getting a nice house in Jersey or maybe having a car that's not going to have a hundred thousand miles on it by the end of the year. They're mostly buying better gear and trying to hire people who will keep other people from screwing them in the shower.
On the higher end, the guys on their way out or down, they're just trying to hold on to a reasonable level of income to keep whatever middle class lifestyle they've adopted. Few of these people live with a horde of security people and hangers on. It just costs too much money and uses up what you have too soon. If they're still performing, they still have to come up with equipment, hire staff (managers, roadies, other musicians), pay all the usual travel bills and possibly manage a household.
In the center are the people who've made it, but who are at a career plateau of one sort or another. The smart ones are storing up for the long winter ahead, which comes to almost everyone. The dumb ones will end up playing Tuesday nights at a bar in New York, be glad to get it and reunite with guys they hated back when they had some money to play rural clubs within driving distance.
I've talked to people with Grammy nominations and solid selling albums who bragged about paying off their student loans, not early but just on time. I met a blues legend dying of cancer who couldn't quit working. I've hung out with performers who got upset when they misplaced minor articles of clothing, like socks and underwear, because they were going to have to buy them again. I've been around when the checks have been handed out for a show and watched how relieved some of these people look.
Not all of the stories about musicians getting screwed on their pay are true. Just most of them.
The biggest joke to date in the music industry is about the level of wealth the big league guys are supposed to have. I've met a bunch of musicians and a bunch of millionaires. They are usually not the same people.
On the lower end, the guys on their way up are still spending like there is no tomorrow, but most of them aren't getting that island oasis. Most of them are thinking of getting a nice house in Jersey or maybe having a car that's not going to have a hundred thousand miles on it by the end of the year. They're mostly buying better gear and trying to hire people who will keep other people from screwing them in the shower.
On the higher end, the guys on their way out or down, they're just trying to hold on to a reasonable level of income to keep whatever middle class lifestyle they've adopted. Few of these people live with a horde of security people and hangers on. It just costs too much money and uses up what you have too soon. If they're still performing, they still have to come up with equipment, hire staff (managers, roadies, other musicians), pay all the usual travel bills and possibly manage a household.
In the center are the people who've made it, but who are at a career plateau of one sort or another. The smart ones are storing up for the long winter ahead, which comes to almost everyone. The dumb ones will end up playing Tuesday nights at a bar in New York, be glad to get it and reunite with guys they hated back when they had some money to play rural clubs within driving distance.
I've talked to people with Grammy nominations and solid selling albums who bragged about paying off their student loans, not early but just on time. I met a blues legend dying of cancer who couldn't quit working. I've hung out with performers who got upset when they misplaced minor articles of clothing, like socks and underwear, because they were going to have to buy them again. I've been around when the checks have been handed out for a show and watched how relieved some of these people look.
Not all of the stories about musicians getting screwed on their pay are true. Just most of them.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Random Music Writing #2
Lesson #2: Try not to talk to the hippy.
I've spoken to a lot of different people. I've found that the bass player and the drummer are often the best for getting past the bullshit and into what the band is like. Drummers and bass players apparently use different drugs than guitarists, singers and keyboard players. They're also backbone players. They're usually saner than the rest of the crew they travel with and will speak the truth. Example: Sully Erna says his band Godsmack was named after some trivial incident that relates to something he said. His bass player says, "Um, not really. There was that song by Alice in Chains..."
The downside is they are often less articulate and the members most often replaced when a band has an internal squabble or shakeup. Getting tossed the bass player can make the interview more difficult if they've only been on board for a month.
The hippy is usually the crispy-fried guitarist or front man. He's the guy who will microwave oatmeal, then eat the oatmeal as he gibbers nonsensically about how things were back in the day. He's the singer/songwriter who thinks his lyrics about the contributions of President Taft are remotely interesting. The hippy doesn't give interviews, he grants the opportunity for communion.
You will learn little of value speaking with the hippy.
The only good thing about talking to the hippy is he'll probably have forgotten to read the bio his record label provided him. If you let him, he'll trip up, praise the eugenics practices of the Third Reich or tell you about his problem saying no to blowjobs from fifteen year-olds.
This would be fine if you work for Rolling Stone or Spin or MAXIM, but it's not so hot if you work for a small paper in rural America that really just wants to give somebody another reason to go to a bar and spend a little money locally.
I've spoken to a lot of different people. I've found that the bass player and the drummer are often the best for getting past the bullshit and into what the band is like. Drummers and bass players apparently use different drugs than guitarists, singers and keyboard players. They're also backbone players. They're usually saner than the rest of the crew they travel with and will speak the truth. Example: Sully Erna says his band Godsmack was named after some trivial incident that relates to something he said. His bass player says, "Um, not really. There was that song by Alice in Chains..."
The downside is they are often less articulate and the members most often replaced when a band has an internal squabble or shakeup. Getting tossed the bass player can make the interview more difficult if they've only been on board for a month.
The hippy is usually the crispy-fried guitarist or front man. He's the guy who will microwave oatmeal, then eat the oatmeal as he gibbers nonsensically about how things were back in the day. He's the singer/songwriter who thinks his lyrics about the contributions of President Taft are remotely interesting. The hippy doesn't give interviews, he grants the opportunity for communion.
You will learn little of value speaking with the hippy.
The only good thing about talking to the hippy is he'll probably have forgotten to read the bio his record label provided him. If you let him, he'll trip up, praise the eugenics practices of the Third Reich or tell you about his problem saying no to blowjobs from fifteen year-olds.
This would be fine if you work for Rolling Stone or Spin or MAXIM, but it's not so hot if you work for a small paper in rural America that really just wants to give somebody another reason to go to a bar and spend a little money locally.
Monday, January 28, 2008
Random music writing post #1
Lesson number one: You're probably be better off doing something else. The business of music is a very affable sort of business. People are friendly, but they aren't always friends.
It's complicated. Musicians, promoters, producers all need music writers to encourage people to buy their records, come to their shows and eventually steal their music off the Internet. Music writers need musicians, promoters and producers in order to have things to write about besides the weather.
While this sounds simple, it isn't. It's a very personal kind of business. You will tend to know more about the people you write about than you want to know and almost always more than they want you to know. It is a false intimacy that is acquired from PR bios, from coffee in a green room or a couple of beers after the second set at one o'clock in the morning. You'll empathize with their plight and their battles.
From time to time, you will tend to forget there are lines and sides. You will want to believe we are all one and the same, but that's not really true. It's easy to want to believe that, because this is a very friendly business.
It's OK. When the time comes, someone will remind you.
It's complicated. Musicians, promoters, producers all need music writers to encourage people to buy their records, come to their shows and eventually steal their music off the Internet. Music writers need musicians, promoters and producers in order to have things to write about besides the weather.
While this sounds simple, it isn't. It's a very personal kind of business. You will tend to know more about the people you write about than you want to know and almost always more than they want you to know. It is a false intimacy that is acquired from PR bios, from coffee in a green room or a couple of beers after the second set at one o'clock in the morning. You'll empathize with their plight and their battles.
From time to time, you will tend to forget there are lines and sides. You will want to believe we are all one and the same, but that's not really true. It's easy to want to believe that, because this is a very friendly business.
It's OK. When the time comes, someone will remind you.
Friday, January 25, 2008
Updates.
The flashbacks have stopped, but the flash drive has died. At some point yesterday, my flash drive fell out of my pocket right in front of my house and was eventually driven over by the entire neighborhood.
The crusty stuff is road salt. I found it in a shallow puddle of water. When it dried, it came apart.
I was carrying the novel on it. Of course, I did print the sucker out and there are some backups, but maybe not every edit.
This may or may not be a setback, but certainly it is a pain in the ass.
On the home front, things are fine.
Tomorrow, I do the polar plunge for the Special Olympics. Thanks to the help of the news room and a blogger friend (who I'm not certain about thanking publicly for his generosity), I've raised 96 bucks for the charity. Hopefully, I will not die. That would sort of suck.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Jesus and the Joker
Per their website, the Westboro Baptist Church is planning on picketing Heath Ledger's funeral. Heath Ledger starred as a gay cowboy in Ang Lee's movie about cowpokes, which I haven't seen because it hasn't been available at the library. I did read the novella, "Brokeback Mountain,"which isn't the same thing and marvel at how they managed to drag that out into two hours. I thought the book was crap by the way.
Ledger also starred in the new Batman movie, which I'm itching to see because I'm a huge Joker fan. Anyway, the antics of the Westboro Baptist Church are pretty standard. They protest anything having to do with death and homosexuality. It's pretty fucked up, actually, but they always manage to stay in the right as far as the law. If memory serves, the church is primarily made up of one guy and his extended family. A bunch of them are lawyers, who do little more than keep the one guy out of jail.
Man... you got to wonder what Sunday morning services are like at this place. I'd put five bucks in the collection plate just to hear them sing their anti-sodomy songs of faith and renewal.
It's fringe nutjobs like this who make it so difficult for most people to embrace any kind of organized religion.
Ledger also starred in the new Batman movie, which I'm itching to see because I'm a huge Joker fan. Anyway, the antics of the Westboro Baptist Church are pretty standard. They protest anything having to do with death and homosexuality. It's pretty fucked up, actually, but they always manage to stay in the right as far as the law. If memory serves, the church is primarily made up of one guy and his extended family. A bunch of them are lawyers, who do little more than keep the one guy out of jail.
Man... you got to wonder what Sunday morning services are like at this place. I'd put five bucks in the collection plate just to hear them sing their anti-sodomy songs of faith and renewal.
It's fringe nutjobs like this who make it so difficult for most people to embrace any kind of organized religion.
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